Friday, March 27, 2009

BEST THING TO DO IS TO...

Live.

Love.

Laugh.

Try.

Take Chances.

Make Mistakes and Learn from it.

Explore cause in life you need to do things that gets you outside your comfort zone, if you don't then you'll never know what the store might have for you because sometimes we even stop ourselves from doing things that we want to do, even when you win or loose not knowing would be the biggest lost.

Life could be really complicated at times but what makes it more complicated is your decisions, once decided stand by it and face the consequences if you have to.

Never let your Anger eats you cause if that happens you'll be missing one of the life's most EXPENSIVE freedom... the freedom of FORGIVENESS.

So Forgive and Forget and turn back from the past grudges cause there is no really easy way out but accepting the fact that you failed and made mistakes and by accepting the truth it will really set you free.

All of this can only happen if you really know how to LOVE. isn't it that LOVE is the most wonderful thing in this world?

Even if it is your fault or not guys it's never too late to apologize.

So smile cause i love you=)

-joynlazaro

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Honey I stay in love with you

Gee, i never thought this would ever happened to me. I am so madly in Love. ha ha! I know I know, I've been like blogging it here for a while huh? crazy, it just started last January, everything happens so fast. now no matter what i do i can't stop but fell in love, haha... I'm just happy cause who would have though that JOYENZ would be like this. i thought i have set and raised my standards in terms of falling in love and that i thought i would be different in a way that i'll be able to handle myself, cause i thought i am wise... ha ha! but i am not. once again i proved myself WRONG. i am crazy man! C-R-A-Z-Y! but i am loving this craziness cause it is making me wiser, stronger and smarter i guess? ha ha! another joke! i mean I've learned that when you love you don't need to set standards or boundaries and that learn to let go when you have to and hold on when it's not yet time to let go and like still go fight for it. Love is all about loving unconditionally and of no boundaries, indeed it is martyrdome. now i understand what Jesus use to tell when he said love one another and love your neighbors MORETHAN yourself and that now I realize why HE offer his life for US on that cross. I know at some point it is different and that we got dissimilar beliefs and explanation about it but that was just my view. you are free to comment if you like. it'll be appreciated but please be kind and leave your name and links if you have. ty.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

March 19, 2009

Today- March 20, 2009

Yesterday Vin and I had a fight, again, a big one, that fight took its toll on me and I have had enough. I was really really hurt this time and I just devoured my whole day crying and the fit of my temper was seen by my best friend Norlyn. I was hurt by the fact that He announces to my cousin's friend and folk that I am just his number two, not his girlfriend but is number two! darn fucking horrible word. it kept ringing in my ear. I felt like I was a slut, like I took him in somebody else arms! I felt horrible and devastated. My morale was low and say joke it could be but it's not funny! I wanted to hit him on his face and like poured my anger all out but still I cant. I Love him so much that still, I was able to phone him and talk to him until my madness eats me, I scolded him on the phone while tears was flooding in my eyes, I felt a freaking chilling air and I still have a flu, I am shaking and I turned red. I cried and poured my heart out. I screamed out my lungs. That was a twenty-minute-call. A long madly twenty-minute call.

I was sad, low and quiet the whole remaining hours of the day. Then came the night. He knows how mad i was at him, yet he didn't manage to exert an effort to confront or talk to me. That made me feel more miserable. remember the other day? he just sent me a lovely white roses, i was just so happy that day until this fight. My girl friends were texting me and talking to me and like saying don't worry you can make it, you'll get through it, while some was also madly furious to Vin. Can't blame them, they see how this relationship like turned my world up-side-down and seen how my world revolves around the palm of Vin's hands. I know I was wrong cause I have loved him so much. Too much that I poured and gave it all like all out of love. I really didn't care cause I think that if you love someone you gotta love him as much as you love yourself right? I don't believe in the saying that Loving yourself is the greatest love of all cause that would conflict what the Bible was saying. Yeah Yeah sour -graping, well whatever, I Love the guy so what? I don't regret a thing. I was Hurt and still hurting but I really don't care. I don't give a damn. If I have to I'll do it over and over again. I won't put an end in any of my sentences but I am willing to learn and live my life. hahah! Stupid huh? no, you just don't get it cause you're not in my shoes. once again, stupid hahah!

Then came the 24th hour after the day of the big fight. my phone beeps (beep-beep) but before that my heart was pounding like a banging gong. I was like, shit! what the hell is happening to me? and there he goes... SORRY JOY I DIDN"T MEAN TO HURT YOU, I AM SORRY. I felt a warm tear swallowing my eyes. I begot damned! haha. I smiled and reply to his message and send him a very long one that will make him go crazy, then he replied and I was somehow shocked but it took me to my surprise that he choses mee, again, hahah. crazy, crazy LOVE! and now I have to wait for him till he comes here later and we'll have a talk and starts to clear things up and try to start a new beggining and like do what we think we need to do. Honey I don't know why I Loved you this way, why I Loved you this much because I don't think I need any reason just to love you, cause I know Love is unexplainable., weird, like US. I Love you Honey, come on let's do it, Let's start and make things up.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

HONEYVIN GAVE ME ROSES

Yesterday Honey and I had a fight over this unsolved matter with his so-called-ex-girlfriend-thinggy. it was a bit frustrating cause we keep on fighting about the same matter over and over and over again. it was like a hell of a fight through phone but when finally see each other everything starts to fall in its place. it's peaceful again. i was hurting by the fact that he wasn't able to move with his ex still. it was thwarting when he keeps on saying i love you honey but at the back of my mind i know he's also saying i love you to "mahal" (their terms of endearment which is a tagalog vernacular for "love"). well you can't blame me cause he's been sending me wrong text messages when he should have been sending it to HER! i know i know what you were thinking "dumb pathetic". well i don't know what to do until yesterday i decided to call it a quit. i am fed up. i am having had enough. i said to myself "this is it, we're through", enough is enough. so i decided to text him and broke up with him, cause i though he wouldn't even bother winning me back, but i was wrong. this is the second time he hold me back. he said "hon don't do this. not now, notthis way. don't, i know we're having so much hard times but lemme solve this case...just gimme some more time hon ". i was shocked. i cried. i was having bad mood yesterday cause i was tired and restless and being too emotional, and i am sick...i mean i am sick really due of tonsillitis and all i can feel is the pain he has injected right on through my heart, the hurting and the emotions of anger and vengeance. but i was so, still kind, that i manage not to let my rage to eat my soul. i love him so much that i was able to forgive him and understand him even though i know that this is too much of being stupid! after a couple of hour, he arrived here in my house with his might on. we talked. i was crying though i am holding my tears back cause i don't want him to see how fragile i was. but he know me so well that he knew how to comfort me. he know me so well in just a short time. it's like we known each other like since way way back.
Then came now, March 18, 2009. he texted me ten times around 10:30 in the morning asking" hon, are you going out somewhere?" then i replied "hon, how can i? i am sick...why?" then said he "just don't go anywhere...okay?" then ii replied "why what's the matter? are you planning to kidnap me? lolz" then he said "no more questions anymore, just don't go out of the house", "okay, i said" then half an hour past came the delivery man with white roses on his hands...i was surprised and shocked and in love...hahah...i know it was very overwhelming, a bouquet of white roses was delivered in my house. i phoned him and said "hon thank you for the flowers...it was so sweet...i think my sickness was gone" then he said "i hope through that white roses i can cope up with my offenses to you" and he asked if i liked it and i said "what do you mean I LIKE IT? I LOVED IT... yes" then he said "i like white roses ... it symbolizes purity and means a lot to me, giving it to you that my love is sweet and pure., i love you honey" and i said "thank you so much and i love you too." hahah! this is how sweet we could be and madly in love. Alvin, once again thank you for this wonderful memory.

HONEY CO...hope you read this

This not really much of a blog.. it’s more of a letter to a certain person whom i really really wish that HE is going to read this.. yes it is a HE. d(+_\\)b

to you, who helped me move on from life’s sick jokes and love’s crazy games, THANK YOU.. i just hope that it is really you that is worth playing the game with, CAT AND MOUSE. i love it when you ask me if you can LOVE ME DOWN. you always tell me that you hope to get NAKED AND SACRED with me, chances are always thin, that is why i see to it that IT ENDS TONIGHT. but life is still a joke and love is still a game, i still think of AUTUMNS MONOLOGUE but hell, it’s always THE FICTION WE LIVE IN.

you always want to comPROMISE with me, but i only ask to be BLUE AND YELLOW. i NOTE that TO mySELF and you have life to go on, but we like things this way, complicated and just CHASING CARS.

SALTY COFFEE–an amazing love story

He met her at a party. She was so
beautiful, many guys were chasing
after her, while he was so plain and
simple, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited
her to have coffee with him, she was
surprised, but to be polite, she
consented. They went to a nice coffee
shop, he was too nervous to say
anything, she felt uncomfortable, she
thought, please, let me go home….
suddenly he asked the waiter.

"would you please give me some salt?
I’d like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, How strange!
His face turned red, but still, he put
the salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously; why you have
salt in your coffee? He replied: "when
I was a little boy, I lived near the
sea, I like playing in the sea, I
could feel the taste of the sea, just
like the taste of the salty coffee.
Now every time I have the salty
coffee, I always think of my
childhood, think of my hometown, I
miss my hometown so much, I miss my
parents who still live there". While
saying that tears filled his eyes. She
was deeply touched.

That’s his true feelings, from the
bottom of his heart. A man who can
share his homesickness, he must be a
man who loves home, cares about home,
has ties to his home. Then she also
started to speak, spoke about her
faraway hometown, her childhood, her
family. That was a really nice talk,
also a beautiful beginning of their
story.

They continued to date. She found that
he was actually a man who meets all
her demands; he had tolerance, was
kind hearted, warm, careful. He was
such a good person but she almost
missed knowing him! Thanks to his
salty coffee!

The story ended just like every
beautiful love story , the princess
married the prince, then they lived
happily ever after… And, every time
she made coffee for him, she put some
salt in it, as she knew that’s the way
he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left
her a letter which said: "My dearest,
please forgive me, I have been lying
my whole life. This was the only lie
I told you—the salty coffee.

Remember the first time we dated? I
was so nervous at that time, actually
I wanted some sugar, but I said
salt. It was hard for me to change
it, so I just went ahead.I never
thought that could be the start of our
conversation! I tried to tell you the
truth many times in my life, but

I was too afraid to do that, as I have
promised not to lie to you about
anything..

Now I’m dying, I’m afraid of nothing
so I can tell you the truth: I don’t
like the salty coffee, what a strange
bad taste.. But I have had the
salty coffee for my whole life! Since
I met you, I don’tnever feel sorry for
everything I did for you. " Having you
with me is the biggest thrill of my
whole life. If I can live a second
time around, I would still want to
know you and have you for the rest of
my life,even though I have to drink
the salty coffee again".

Her tears made the letter totally wet.
One day, someone asked her: how did
the salty coffee taste? It was very
sweet, she replied.

Love is not to forget but to forgive,
not to see but to understand, not to
hear but to listen, not to let go but
to HOLD ON !!!!

Don’t ever leave the one you love for
the one you like, because the one you
like will leave you for the one they
love…

-coffee-an-amazing-love-story/