The Secret Promise

There was once a story of love, a kind of love that never was. It all started in a dream, a kind of which no one else's have. I often encourage myself to love one way or another but I'm so afraid that i'll be living in my past while he's over it. i had this most memorable story wherein it almost took me eight years before i have totaly moved on. I really fall for Him and he's my first. right then and there i promise myself that i will never fall in love again after the incident, not even in the near future. so it happened. I became very focused on my career which became my life and i was and never aware that in my life's peakest part i'll be encountering onother frustration, i have to keep it by myself so no one will know, it is such a burden to keep a load of secret ionside you but i have to, cause the safest place to hide your secret is within you. Burrying sorrows, fear, dreams, memories of your own is the hardest part but i realy intended to keep ot to my grave. It's not that I don't trust people, well i gave them the benefit of the doubt, it's just that I think it would be so very unfair to let others know your secrets when they have their own to keep, you'll never know when someone spill out yours. like love i didn't know how it strikes me when i know that i have my heart guarded, indeed fate is mysterious so as i thought I know my stand, i have been hit by cupid's arrow. The first time I saww him there's no goosebumps or butterfly on stomachs or palpitations, the most crucial part is when i know i has fallen for him. I don't know. maybe it's just me whose having this brutal feeling, I don't want to rush into these though I realy want to spoil myself. By the way he has no idea of this. Everyone has their secrets and dreams, lucky for those who has theirs fulfilled. I almost forgotten to breathe for the last eight years. and now all of the sudden I am Breathing...once more. My hopes and Ideas yet again came into life. Truly when you're trying to reach for people that's when you can't get in touch with 'em, maybe we weren't meant for each other or maybe fate doesn't agree on it's timing or God maybe testing my temper or rather He only gave me an inspiration to see and experience the beauty of love once more. I know, someday, somehow I'll be over this, but as soon as end comes nearer I'll be holding to my faith, cause I won't let me see this love slips away and end in somebody else's arms. I promise, as long as I can, I'll keep you mine.

~joyenz~